White’s Hill Hop from Billie Best on Vimeo.

the full implications of it all

the rain

the mud

warm morning walks in the brown woods

my invisible breath

my warm nose

it’s not the winter we know

skeletal topography exposed

fallen trees rotting wet

exquisitely green moss

the yellow green willows

the green green grass around the pond

the swirling black swamp

the loud brook

the green algae veneer on my garden buddha

it is the season of the earth

the soil sinks and heaves

rocks bloom

lichen covers damp bark in a thousand shades of grey

and the forsythia is confused

Farm Bill Hackathon Graphics Power Point File

Farm Bill Hackathon Graphics PDF File

Yes, you are eating your children while you wait for government to plan a better menu. But the problem with government is you. Money, business, and government are abstract ideas that manifest the power of you. Restore the balance between money and people in your personal life, and the ripple effect will change government.

Government is a reflection of  how you spend your money. If you want government to put you first, you have to put people first. Witness yourself. Will you pay more for something made in America? Will you pay more for something made in your state or by your neighbor? Will you consider buying less and paying more for things to show your care for people and the environment? Because if your answer is no, if your answer is that you will buy the cheapest stuff, no matter where it comes from or how it was made — you are the problem with America.

When we buy the cheapest stuff, no matter where or how it was made, we are exporting our jobs to places where poor people do the work. If the middle class is going to rise, we have to buy stuff made by middle class people. If you want to keep jobs in your community, you should buy everything you can that’s made there. It will probably cost more, but I’ll bet the cost of living in your community is higher than the cost of living in China.

When you choose what to buy, you are choosing to support something with your money. When we choose China’s economy instead of the American economy, we become China. Is that really what we want?

Your purchases are not anonymous. If your Main Street is dying and your big box stores are thriving, it’s because your community is ignorant. When you add the lost jobs and higher taxes to your Wal-Mart purchase, it isn’t that cheap. But unless somebody makes a hit TV show about it, America won’t get the message. We are anesthetized by the noise.

Your government is putting money first because you  put money first. Your standard of living is falling because you are voting for the cheapest goods made by the cheapest labor with the least environmental protection. You can’t blame that on China or Wal-Mart. You are the ultimate power in a consumer economy. Every purchase is an expression of your values. Choose your economy. Choose your environment. Choose your people. Occupy your mind with changing your behavior.

I have a flock of 45 pullets born August 23. They have been free ranging on my farm since October 1st. They are mixed in with my laying hens, a flock of 20+ mature birds. This morning one pullet was dying and is now dead. Seven other pullets now seem sick: unresponsive, standing around inside the coop with heads tucked in, almost listless.

They are behaving flu-ish, like they just don’t feel good.

I have had beautiful flocks of free range chickens here for many years. I’ve never seen so many birds with the same symptoms. I am looking for advice on what this might be, and what to do about it.

Thank you,

Billie Best

On Nov 11, 2011, at 2:52 PM, Kim Hilliker wrote:

Billie – I held on to this email as I’m always looking to gain chicken-wisdom, having only had chickens about 4 years.

Did you ever find out what the issue was with your chickens?  I was thinking maybe worms?  But, then, your older birds weren’t affected?

Kim Hilliker
Morgan Woods Farm
Saratoga County, NY

From: Billie Best <billie@billiebest.com>
Date: November 15, 2011 8:44:35 PM EST
To: “Discuss Issues in Livestock Processing” <livestockprocessing-l@list.cornell.edu>
Subject: Re: OT-chicken illness question

Thanks to the listserv, I got great advice about my “chicken illness” in a couple hours.

My seven-week-old pullets had coccidiosis. Ten birds (out of 45) died. I consider myself fortunate. My chickens free range. When the illness set in, the strongest birds were already ranging far from the coop, and roosting at night. The most immature birds were still sleeping in a pile on the floor of the coop in the corner. They are the ones that died.

This batch of pullets was particularly slow to mature. They took a long time to feather up, and they were all slow to range and roost. My mistake was not to give the floor sleepers fresh hay bedding every night. Conditions were cool and wet for weeks, perfect for microbes.

I received very helpful advice from Dr. Jang, a poultry specialist at Cornell Animal Diagnostic Lab. However, I did not treat the flock. I practice organic standards, so chemotherapy was out of the question, and I would not put antibiotics in my food [as some of you suggested, which wouldn't have worked anyway since coccidia are a protozoa not a bacteria].

This is my seventh flock of chickens and the first time I have had an illness in the flock. I will definitely be more fastidious in the future.

Again, thanks to the listserv for being such a valuable resource.

Billie

Ego Smack-Down

Our Ego Smack-Down methodology builds organizational leadership by focusing on the relationship between the need to win and the fear of sharing power. We’ll put your C-suite chimps in a conference room for eight hours blaring last year’s PowerPoint presentations as we tie their tails together and then pull the fire alarm. The process of deciding which way to run, who will lead, and who will be dragged along by the tail, reveals the essence of effective leadership; humbling A-types as they learn to walk-not-run, and empowering underachievers to man-up or drag everyone else to their doom. Developed by two semi-famous B-school dropouts, the Ego Smack-Down gives executives real-world leadership experience by threatening their lives.

Head Butt Mediation

Many executives believe organizational development is best done through consensus building and see their role as mediating competing interests. At Shut the Fuck Up Consulting, we believe consensus is the road to mediocrity. If everyone in your organization shares the same vision, chances are it’s not a very original idea and you won’t get very far with it as a competitive differentiator. Using our Head Butt Mediation methodology, we line up stakeholders at opposite ends of the conference table and encourage them to bash heads. Eventually, the floor is covered with blood, the pansies are hiding in the corner, and the weak ideas have been eliminated. That’s when we pass out coffee and donuts and let the winners take over the white board. Leveraging proven principles of Darwinian Succession, Head Butt Mediation puts your organization on the path to exceptionalism.

Amputee Line Dance

Is your supply chain out of step with your distribution channels? Is the lack of coordination between your procurement and inventory management depressing your bottom line? Shut the Fuck Up Consulting smoothes the bump and grind of supply and demand utilizing a technique originally developed in the Middle East by big box hardliners. We take your top suppliers on a ten-day retreat to a hidden location along with your procurement team.  After four hours of open bar, each person loses a leg. For the next nine days participants learn to share each other’s pain. They assist each other in making it back to the bar through an intricate process of leaning and hopping. By the time they’re ready to head home, not only do they have an established rhythm, they can do a line dance around your warehouse without spilling their beer. According to the Harvard Business Review, the Amputee Line Dance is “the final solution for organizations challenged by balancing mission critical processes.”

Train Wreck Change Management

Change management strategies come in all shapes and sizes, often packaged to make you feel like the process can be contained, controlled, and even concealed. At Shut the Fuck Up Consulting we see change for what it is — a train wreck. Our Train Wreck Change Management immersion experience improves your organization’s chances of survival by building your capacity to adapt to change rapidly and continuously. Your vice presidents will set up a miniature railroad, each with their name on a boxcar loaded with six frogs. The lowest level employee in the company is assigned the role of conductor and given the controls that set the speed and direction of the train. The VPs must keep the frogs on the train and the train must be kept moving on the track for 24 hours. At the end of the experience, each frog is worth $10,000 on or off the VPs paycheck.

Video documentation of this exercise reveals the rapid alignment and realignment of interests as VPs engage in high-speed creative problem solving and continuously shifting strategic alliances, while managing hunger, ickiness, and physical exhaustion. Twelve hours into the game a starving cat enters the room. Emotions fray as participants experience a shared sense of loss over fallen frogs, perhaps the end of a child’s college education, or the loss of a leased sports car. Ultimately, competitors learn to pool their resources. Individuals who never imagined getting their hands dirty nurse wounded frogs. And your organization is transformed through the collective experience of trauma.

Shut the Fuck Up Consulting delivers fearless advice to global clients scared shitless by circumstances they could manage if only they had the balls.  So don’t just sit there trembling in fear, hiding behind your email while your value takes a dive. Let us help you grow a pair. We’ve got an arsenal of radical truths designed to disrupt the bad habits that got you in this mess. We’re here to help. All you have to do is Shut the Fuck Up and listen.

My $4,500 Kidney Stone

(Or, a case against health insurance mandates and for a community-based single-payer health care system) 

By Billie Best, Published in Berkshire Trade & Commerce, November 2011 (download PDF file)

I woke up at 4:00 one morning in late August feeling like I had been hit in the gut with a baseball bat. Within an hour the pain became much worse. The baseball bat became a knife. I got dressed and found my car keys, but I couldn’t make myself drive. I was being stabbed to death. Today was my day to die. I called friends and by 6:30 I was in the emergency room of the hospital 15 minutes from my house.

Within a half hour of my arrival, a doctor heard my classic symptoms and diagnosed the kidney stone, prescribed a dilaudid IV, and ordered a CT scan to confirm the diagnosis. Soon I was not in pain. The CT scan took five minutes. Getting the radiology report took about 45 minutes. All in all, it seemed like a pretty efficient process.

The report confirmed the 2mm diameter tube from my kidney to my bladder was being sliced up by a 4mm glass rock on its way home. They took a urine sample and found evidence of infection. The doctor explained to me what Flomax does to increase urine flow for men with prostate problems, and suggested I take the drug to dilate my tubes to make way for the stone. By 10:30 a.m., thanks to the help of another friend, I was on my way home with prescriptions for the pain, the infection, and Flomax to make me feel like a man.

I expected to pay a few thousand dollars for the hospital visit. But I was shocked to receive a bill for $4,200 from the hospital, which didn’t include the radiologist or analysis of the stone. I haven’t had health insurance since 1998, when my health insurance company stopped doing business in Massachusetts. Since then, health insurance has been much more expensive than paying for my health care costs myself. I had no frame of reference for what a kidney stone could cost.

I made a couple phone calls to the hospital to better understand my bill. The person I spoke with assured me the rates I was charged are approved by the state and “usual and customary” for our region. She pointed out that I received a 5-percent discount off the original amount for being uninsured. And, she added, “You are paying for health care for the poor.”

Of course, I am. But I was surprised by the way she said it – as though she was reminding me of an obligation. I am not poor. But I am not rich. I work for a living, and my income barely covers my expenses. I don’t have health insurance because I can’t afford it. The least expensive health insurance policy I can get here in Massachusetts has about a $500-a-month premium with a $5,000 deductible. That’s $6,000 a year – more than 10 percent of my income, more in one year than I have spent on health care in the past 10 years. If I had maintained one of these policies since 1999, I would have paid $72,000 to an insurance company over that period, and (thanks to the $5,000 deductible) I would still have to pay $4,500 out-of-pocket for this kidney stone. That doesn’t seem fair or reasonable. This kind of health insurance is not good money management, it’s not cost-effective, it’s not affordable, and it feels abusive. But purchasing it is exactly what government health insurance mandates require me to do.

I am willing to contribute to the health care costs of the poor, but I think there is a better way to do it. That’s why I am hoping the Supreme Court strikes down as unconstitutional the health insurance mandates in Obama Care and Massachusetts. It can’t be legal for the government to force every citizen to purchase a commercial product for their entire adult life. The health insurance mandate sets a dangerous precedent by requiring citizens to make a life-long purchase from one business (insurance) to reduce the cost for some consumers (poor people) of another business (health care). It becomes just another convoluted Wall Street scam that amounts to corporate welfare masquerading as social welfare.

The United States of America should have a community-based single-payer health care system. That’s the only real universal care. Community-based means we keep our health care dollars at the local-regional-state level, relying on the federal government to be our safety net, not the controller of the system. A community-based single-payer system can be a sliding scale, fee-based system where those who can afford to pay do so, and those who can’t afford to pay get their health care for free. In a community-based health care system we insure ourselves. We would see our health care dollars in action, we would be more conscious of how health care operates, we would have more options for and a greater stake in controlling the costs, we would be creating jobs for ourselves, and we would very likely be a healthier community.

I am a free-market capitalist. But Adam Smith’s free-market forces don’t play in health care because health care often involves a life-threatening emergency. There was no free-market competition when I thought I was going to die that August morning. There was only one place to go – the hospital nearest me. The next nearest hospital is another 45 minutes farther away, and others more than an hour away. I couldn’t shop around for the best place, the lowest price, or the most high-tech treatment. Emergency health care does not allow for comparison shopping.

Without place-based competition, the commercial health care system has no economic incentive to reduce costs. Reducing our costs reduces their income. If we had a community-based single-payer health care system, it would be in the community’s enlightened self-interest to control health care costs. Wellness programs – the kind that most people don’t have access to now because they don’t generate big corporate profits – would be an essential tool in serving the economic interests of communities. For example, regular check-ups, medication adjustments, nutrition and weight-loss guidance, stress management and fitness programs could reduce heart disease, cancer and diabetes – the plagues of our time.

The public debate between commercial health care and single-payer is going to come up again. Lobbyists will again crank up the fear of socialized medicine, rationing health care, and death panels. This time, let’s do a better job of presenting a community-based single-payer system as potentially more efficient, lower cost, more accountable, and better quality. Let’s talk about community-based single-payer health care as a local jobs program at the heart of economic development and homeland security. Single-payer has the potential to build the health and wealth of our communities. The most efficient health care system is the one that keeps us well by keeping our health care dollars close to home.

Commercial health care has become corrupt. A new report from the Kaiser Family Foundation shows the average premium for family coverage is $15,000 per year, a 113% increase in ten years. Yet today, the main function of health insurance companies is to reduce the amount of care we receive while they reduce payments to service providers for the care they give. That’s not providing value for consumers, or doctors and hospitals. Health insurance companies are an unnecessary layer of bureaucracy, and an enormous, inefficient administrative burden. They prey on our families and our fears. It’s time for them to go. It’s time for Americans to embrace a community-based single-payer health care system.

— Billie Best lives, thinks, writes, farms, and consults in Alford, Massachusetts, and blogs at crazywifefarm.com.

I raised Cinco from the day she was born. She was a bottle baby and she is my favorite cow. It’s hard to imagine that ear splitting scream coming from such a lovely visage. Her shriek conjures a giant monkey with bulging eyes, a big tongue, and lots of saliva. In fact, it can hurt your ears and get on your nerves. My neighbor called to ask if she was okay, and mentioned she woke him up at 5:00 am. At my desk in the house, between Cinco in the east pasture and Seis in the west pasture, the plaintive volley of “I want milk! Where’s my mommy?” “My boobs hurt! Where’s my baby?”  is incessant. I grit my teeth and remind myself it will be over in a few days, and it will be well worth it in the long run. Farming is a daily exercise in delayed gratification.

Cinco is pregnant and due to calve next July. The future of her unborn calf depends on conserving resources — mine, Cinco’s, and the calf’s — so we can make the best possible preparations for the next generation. That commitment demands Seis drink less mother’s milk and eat more grass. For all of us, the process of weaning builds character and discipline, and we are stronger for it: shared sacrifice for shared reward. It makes perfect sense, unless you are a fat corporation and your teat is the U.S. government.

The farm is a natural system. We plants and animals are all going to die, as nature intended. Between now and then, our orientation is toward the proliferation of our species (quality of life) and the spreading of our seed (procreation). We live to reproduce. That’s how nature keeps going. The legacy of shared sacrifice for shared reward is the lesson of survival we leave to our progeny. Shared sacrifice for shared reward is our DNA.

Unfortunately, corporations have been designed by humans to transcend life on Earth. Corporations have no biology, no DNA. They do not die. Therefore they don’t have the same motivations we do. Shared sacrifice for shared reward, the founding principle of human civilization, is not the legacy of corporations. In fact, since they don’t die, it makes perfect sense for corporations eat their young (small businesses) to eliminate competition for future resources. Corporations are inclined toward the very behaviors that destroy society and the envirnoment. Our dilemma is that corporations — who are really just people getting away with doing the wrong thing instead of the right thing — have for so long been nestled in the breast of government bureaucracy that the two have become inseparable.

It’s weaning time! Corporations have put on a lot of fat systematically bribing their way into the legislative process, and too much fat is unhealthy for them and us. They are sucking the life (real people) out of government, and they are crushing economic growth in new sectors that would compete with them. But corporations don’t want to be weaned anymore than Seis does. So they are screaming. For people who don’t understand the process, the cacophony is disturbing, even frightening. It sounds unfair. The fact is, weaning corporations from the government is essential to the survival of our communities, the efficiency of our economy, and the security of our nation.

Now, two citizen advocacy groups who usually find themselves on opposite sides of the issues — the National Tax Payers Union, America’s independent non-partisan advocate for over burdened tax payers, and the U.S. Public Interest Research Group (U.S. PIRG), Standing up to powerful interests — have joined forces to prove that conservatives and progressives can agree: cutting back on corporate welfare needs to be done now. Together, they have produced a report which you can download here: Toward Common Ground. You don’t have to read all the wonky details to understand it. Just scroll down the list of giveaways they would like to stop: handouts to the most profitable corporations in the world, programs that bloat government, subsidies that distort markets, special interests that own Congress, obsolete equipment and practices that gobble up our taxes to the tune of ONE TRILLION DOLLARS.

It’s weaning time for cows and corporations, and you can be sure it will be painful for giver and taker. Some of us have something to lose and will need encouragement through the process. But we all have something to gain if we have the discipline to do it. For us humans, the question is: Are we going to let a bunch of crybabies persuade us to waste our resources pouring money into them instead of investing it in our future? A few trillion dollars hangs in the balance. The view from the farm is, if we share the sacrifice, we will all be stronger for it. To build our self-reliance, ensure our independence, and protect our freedom, we must get corporations off welfare.

Within a half hour of my arrival, a doctor heard my classic symptoms and diagnosed the kidney stone, prescribed a dilaudid IV, and ordered a CT scan to confirm the diagnosis. Within an hour of arriving at the hospital, the pain was almost gone. Around 7:00 am the morning shift came in and the night shift went home. I was handed off to a new doctor and nurse. The CT scan took five minutes. Getting the radiology report, faxed in from an outsourced radiologist, took about 45 minutes. All in all, it seemed like a pretty efficient operation.

The report confirmed the 2mm diameter tube from my kidney to my bladder was being sliced up by a 4mm glass rock on its way home. In the next few hours, I had about four doses of dilaudid. They took a urine sample and found evidence of infection. The doctor explained to me what Flomax does to increase urine flow for men with prostate problems, and suggested I take the drug to dilate my tubes to make way for the stone. By 10:30 am, thanks to the help of another friend, I was on my way home with prescriptions for dilaudid for the pain, Cipro for the infection, and Flomax to make me feel like a man.

I expected to pay a few thousand dollars for the hospital visit. I knew just walking in the emergency room would be an automatic $1000. I was surprised the three prescriptions were only $45. But I was shocked to receive a bill for $4200 from the hospital, which doesn’t include the fee for the outsourced radiologist. I haven’t had health insurance since 1998 when my health insurance company stopped doing business in Massachusetts. Since then, health insurance has been much more expensive than paying for my healthcare myself. I am healthy. There is no history of heart disease, cancer, or diabetes in my family. I have been to see my family doctor less than a dozen times in ten years. My healthcare expenses for the past ten years have been less than $5000. I had no frame of reference for what a kidney stone could cost.

I made a couple phone calls to the hospital to better understand my bill. Ultimately, I decided it was worth $4500 to eliminate that pain. I received excellent care. But I am still trying to be an informed consumer. I don’t understand all the charges on the invoice, and I’m not going to be satisfied until I do. The person I spoke with assured me the rates I was charged are “usual and customary” for our region. In Massachusetts, hospital rates for each service are approved by a state commission. I received a 5% discount off the original amount of $4426.91 for being uninsured. And she added, “you are paying for healthcare for the poor.”

Of course, I am. But I was surprised by the way she said it. As though she was reminding me of an obligation. I am not poor. But I am not rich. I work for a living, and my income barely covers my expenses. I don’t have health insurance because I can’t afford it. The least expensive health insurance policy I can get here in Massachusetts is about a $500-a-month premium for a $5000 deductible. That’s $6000 a year — more than 10% of my income, more in one year than I have spent on healthcare in the past ten years. If I had one of these policies since 1999, I would have paid $72,000 to an insurance company, and I would still have to pay $4500 out-of-pocket for this kidney stone. That doesn’t seem fair or reasonable. This kind of health insurance is not good money management, it’s not cost-effective, it’s not affordable, and it feels abusive. But purchasing it is exactly what government health insurance mandates require me to do.

I believe poor people should have access to free healthcare, but I am hoping the Supreme Court strikes down as unconstitutional the health insurance mandates in Obama Care and Massachusetts. It can’t be legal for the government to force every citizen to purchase a commercial product. This is not the same as car insurance because, A.) you can choose not to have a car, B.) unlike with health insurance as your car ages the price of car insurance goes down, and C.) you can choose a low cost car to reduce the cost of your insurance.

The health insurance mandate sets a dangerous precedent by requiring citizens to make a life-long purchase from one business (insurance) to reduce the cost for some consumers (poor people) of another business (healthcare). Could the government require each of us to buy beef to keep a Big Mac more affordable, even if we are vegetarians? Could the government require each of us to buy a Chevy or a Ford to save Detroit, even if we don’t drive? Then how can the government require us to buy health insurance whether we need it or not, whether we intend to use it or not, whether it covers the kind of care we need or not?

I would rather pay my own personal medical expenses plus $1000 a year to my local hospital to cover the cost of healthcare for those who can’t afford it. If everyone else in my area did that, it would mean about $20 million a year to fund healthcare for the poor, more than enough to keep our hospital financially sound, and far less than we now pay for health insurance. We would see our healthcare dollars in action, we would be more conscious of how healthcare operates, we would have more options for controlling the costs, we would be creating jobs for ourselves, and we would very likely be a healthier community.

The health insurance mandate is another convoluted Wall Street scam that amounts to corporate welfare masquerading as social welfare. The United States of America should have a single-payer healthcare system. That’s the only real universal care. A single-payer system can be a sliding-scale, fee-based system where those who can afford to pay do so, and those who can’t afford to pay get their healthcare for free. I would still pay $4500 for my kidney stone, maybe more. But I wouldn’t pay $76,500 for my kidney stone as the law now requires.

I am a free-market capitalist. But Adam Smith’s free market forces don’t play in healthcare because healthcare is often a life-threatening emergency. There was no free market competition when I thought I was going to die. There was only one place to go — the hospital nearest me. The next nearest hospital is 45 minutes farther away, and others more than an hour away. I couldn’t shop around for the best place, the lowest price, or the most high-tech treatment. Emergency healthcare does not allow for comparison shopping.

Without place-based competition, the commercial healthcare system has no economic incentive to reduce costs. Reducing our costs reduces their income. If we had a community-based single-payer healthcare system, it would be in the community’s enlightened self-interest to control healthcare costs. Wellness programs — the kind that most people don’t have access to now because they don’t generate big corporate profits — would be an essential tool in serving the economic interests of communities. For example, regular check-ups, medication adjustments, nutrition and weight-loss guidance, stress management, and fitness programs could reduce heart disease, cancer, and diabetes, the plagues of our time.

The public debate between commercial healthcare and community healthcare is going to come up again. Lobbyists will again crank up the fear of socialized medicine, rationing healthcare, and death panels. This time, let’s do a better job of presenting a single-payer system as potentially lower cost, more accountable, and better quality. Let’s talk about community-based single-payer healthcare as a local jobs program at the heart of economic development and homeland security. Single-payer has the potential to build the health and wealth of our communities. The most efficient healthcare system is the one that keeps our healthcare dollars closest to home.

Commercial healthcare has become corrupt. Today, the main function of health insurance companies is to reduce the amount of care we receive while they reduce payments to service providers for the care they give. That’s not providing value for consumers, or doctors and hospitals. Health insurance companies are an unnecessary layer of bureaucracy, and an enormous, inefficient administrative burden. They prey on our families and our fears. It’s time for them to go. It’s time for Americans to embrace a community-based single-payer healthcare system.

The farm surfed the summer weather just fine. It was the wettest August on record. Too much water is a curse and a promise. The rains grew plentiful grass. In my microclimate, we were lucky to have just enough sun and airflow to keep away the tomato blight. At the beginning of the season, I planted six raised beds of flowers and vegetables. Made a lot of mistakes, but they looked good from a distance, and my tomatoes are perfect. I learned that I’m willing to trade the shape of a carrot for the time it takes to thin them. And I’m never growing brussle sprouts again. They take up too much space and you have to wait too long to harvest them. Really, how many brussel sprouts can one woman eat? Same with beets. I feel obligated to eat all of them. Then everything that comes out of me is purple.

Norman has been with the girls since the end of July. I hope I have three pregnant beef cows — Cinco, April, and Undici — plus Lola, my adopted Jersey. That’s four calves coming in April/May. This summer was the first time I was ever afraid of Norman. One of the leading causes of farmer deaths, after tractor accidents and suicides, is getting head-butted by a bull. I was working on the electric fence in the dark — a requirement for my superwoman merit badge — when he decided I didn’t belong there and charged at me. I scrambled to the top of a nearby firewood pile. Fortunately, he stopped a few feet from the fence where all 1,800 lbs. of him paced and snorted and broke tree branches while I prayed. Since then I have been envisioning him as pastrami. But if this year’s calf, Seis, is any indication, his genetics are just right for grass farming, and that’s the goal.

The chickens had a stressful summer. In June, just when the fox seemed to be gone for good, a lone coyote started hanging out around the barnyard. Twice Moon chased him through a group of panicking chickens as the coyote caught a hen in his mouth and ran off with it. It was a lightbulb moment for Moon. Very hard for me to explain why the coyote could have that much fun and he couldn’t. Next time the coyote came, he and Moon both caught a chicken between their teeth.  I gave up my Buddhism for an hour and screamed at my dog, chasing him around the yard with a wet towel, threatening to withhold his steroids until he was weak and sickly again. Moon had chicken for lunch that day, and I had to get over it. I’m down to 23 hens and a rooster. The hawks are looking forward to the tall weeds matting down and the leaves falling off the trees. There are 45 chicks in a brooder who will start laying eggs in March, and Moon is writing “The chickens are my sisters” on the blackboard one hundred times.

My summer reading list was short. On a trip to see my family in Wisconsin, I read Founding Gardeners — the revolutionary generation, nature, and the shaping of the American nation, by Andrea Wulf (Knopf, 2011). It’s a romantic botanical account of the first four presidents — George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and James Madison — all farmers and gardeners, all convinced, but each with his own particular spin on the importance of farms and plants to the evolution of citizenship, national identity, and the economy. I was struck by their appreciation for North American native species, bio-diversity, and building the soil.

Driving the country roads of southern Wisconsin, I saw corn planted from the side of the barn to the horizon. In the Dairy State, thousands of farms grow corn to feed dairy cattle and other livestock. But the livestock is nowhere to be seen. At these farms, there are no cows on pasture, no chickens in the yard, no Charlotte’s Web of animals cohabitating congenially in the barn. No one seems to notice the absence of dairy cows outdoors in the Dairy State. These farmers don’t want beautiful cows. They want milk machines. They don’t want diversity. They want efficiency. They don’t want native species. They want corn. And they have a strong belief that chemicals and bio-tech will compensate for dead soil. They aren’t bad people. They care about citizenship, national identity, and the economy. Their farm is an expression of their values. They believe in what they’re doing.

So do I. We are both farming abstract ideas about money, resources, and people. They are invested in maximizing production. I am invested in maximizing nature. I am an idealist. This summer I witnessed my extreme idealism. From eating all my beets, to free-ranging hens on the edge of the forest, to impregnating cows the old fashioned way, and trying to teach a hunting dog not to chase critters — I exhausted myself every day until my inner preacher was just too tired to whip me anymore. Two weeks ago, I passed a kidney stone my doctor attributes to me not hydrating enough while working in the heat. Abstractions unchallenged ossify. My kidney stone is a flashing red light: Danger! Danger, Will Robinson! You need to find the balance between your values and your reality, because too much idealism isn’t sustainable.