Billie Best — farmer, writer, consultant

Category: Humor


Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Sunday, February 6th, 2011

It was a Beach Day in the Berkshires. The thermometer hit the middle-high thirties, the sun blazed on the snow, and the big bad white stuff melted off everywhere. The sound of dripping, trickling water was so heartening. The air smelled wet, mist rose from the snow fields, and there was mud along the roads. [...]

Sunday, December 5th, 2010

Although we may pretend at times we live in the 19th Century, my farm and I live in the modern world, and geopolitics directly impact our income and expenses. Each day I follow the news on the radio and the Internet. Then I have long periods of unplugged time when I can reflect on what [...]

Wednesday, November 24th, 2010

True confessions: I am a foodie. And thus I was horrified by the Replica Foods catalog friends brought  me from Tokyo. The idea that making plastic molded replicas of menu items is an industry puts a whole chain of modern food production catastrophes into perspective. The promotional materials say the plastic replicas help the restaurant [...]

Thursday, November 11th, 2010

A clean chicken coop is a glorious thing. I feel almost as good standing in my clean chicken coop as I do standing in my clean house. It smells good. The cobwebs are down. The dust is wiped away. The nesting boxes are lined with fresh hay. Everything has a place and is set to [...]

Tuesday, August 31st, 2010

As you approach the supermarket’s automatic doors you walk onto a conveyer belt where your retina is scanned, your bone structure is measured, and your weight flashes on a flat screen in big red numbers before the glass doors open to let you inside to do your shopping. As you place your hands on the [...]

Wednesday, August 25th, 2010

I subscribe to a number of food industry newsletters because I edit a monthly digest of farm and food news stories for the Northeast Sustainable Agriculture Working Group. One of the weekly newsletters I receive is about new equipment and supplies for industrial meat processors. This week’s hot topic is automated smoke stick loading robotics [...]

Thursday, June 10th, 2010

Did you see the film Blair Witch Project (1999)? It was a low tech cinema vérité thriller made with a hand-held camera that frightened audiences with atmospherics rather than action. Ellie May wants to star in the tenth anniversary sequel.  I made her as a mascot for the farmers market. But lately she’s been hanging [...]

Wednesday, March 24th, 2010

My friends, Beth and Andy, are in Indonesia for a month, on the other side of the planet in the water between Vietnam and Australia.  Andy works for the US Geological Survey, Cascades Volcano Observatory, Volcano Disaster Assistance Program.  Beth is a filmmaker who likes to travel.  On their journey to the South Pacific, I asked them [...]